Saturday, July 9, 2011

Triumphs and Pitfalls

It's been a crazy few weeks. Still stuck in the low 120s. Here's what's been going on with me.

1) Had Mexican food the other night on our usual Friday night out. This time, though, I savored it. I mean, really ate it slowly and paid attention to every bite. And when I was full, I stopped. And though I ate almost the entire plate of food, I didn't feel guilty about it, because I really had been very hungry and wasn't stuffed when I was done. And man, that cheese enchilada was heaven. And since I paid close attention to what I was eating, I don't feel like I'll need to indulge again like that soon.

2) Although, tonight we had 'fried night.' We've been planning this for ages. We breaded and fried eggplant, mozzarella sticks and cucumbers and summer squash. It was yummy. And I'd meant to eat super clean all day to leave room for it. But of course I wound up shopping all afternoon for groceries (never food shop hungry! eeek $$$$$ trip) and was ravenous when I got home so I had a turkey and cheese rice cake sandwich. But I had a huge pile of peaches and snow peas with it. But I chased it with the rest of my enormous chocolate bar because I wanted it gone - I really do think I'm allergic to chocolate and it makes me depressed. So no more chocolate for me except on special occasions. At least fried foods are heavy, so I didn't even finish a whole plate full. And I noshed some baby carrots and more snap peas on the side. Not a total fail I guess.

3) I made ice cream cake for my son's 2nd birthday. We were eating so much of it (somehow we had a ton of leftovers) we decided to let it melt and toss it. It hurt our wallets, but at least it didn't hurt our hearts (or hips :p).

4) I've been skinny obsessed again lately. Like, watching my favorite celebs literally gets me to stop eating. And sometimes it even makes me work out hard. So far, it's still been healthy - I'm making good choices. But if it gets obsessive, I'm going to have to media fast for a while. Because right now, these girls look good to me:

And I caught myself looking at a picture of Marie Osmond, who wears a size 2, and thinking "wow, she's kinda chubby" (um, no honey, those are called curves, and they're a good thing). And so the battle continues. I guess I've still got 15 lbs before I need to worry. And I really would like to fit back into my wedding rings (which are tight on my pinkie right now). I just need to remember that healthy is the goal and scary skinny is just stupid. Bleh.

So that's what's been happening with me and weight and body image lately. And if you talk to me, remind me that curves are good. Remind me that muscles are better. Remind me to get my tush and my toddlers out that door to take a walk in the morning (preferably before it gets blazing hot out - so I guess I'll be getting up at 5 am). Yeah.

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