Looking Out, Not In

Sorry I've been MIA lately. It's really been more of the same. A few days of good eating, followed by a couple days of terrible eating (but oh. my. goodness. I discovered a pizza parlor that makes gluten free pizza. And not that fakey frozen stuff like Godfather's does. It's their usual pizza sauce, toppings and cheese on top of a crispy, thin crust. *drool*). I'm trying to balance things out. Our points system is frustrating because I rarely get any. It's also not very motivating. If I know I'm going to blow my points by having pizza that night, I have no motivation left NOT to finish off all the chocolate eggs in the freezer. Etc. So I'm trying to focus less on the points system and merely on eating well most of the time. Otherwise my cravings take absolute control of me and I go nuts. And I run the risk of missing out on key nutrients (I need a little meat for protein, dairy for calicum and grains other than rice - I'm just not cut out to be a vegan). ANYway, that's how things are going so far. I gained back a couple of those pounds I lost but they're slowly leaving again. My new goal for the moment is adding in some cardio - we're almost done with the basement, so the elliptical will be handy again. But I'd really love to get in some daytime walking since working out too close to bedtime keeps me awake.

So. To get to what this post is really about. I am, and always have been, the sort of person who gets dressed up to go to Walmart. Well, not really 'dressed up' perse - but I do make sure that I'm at least wearing jeans (instead of sweats) and jewelry and that my hair is presentable. I try only to wear gym clothes to the gym and if I can help it I wear makeup whenever I leave the house. But the other day I ran off to the library with the kids without putting on jewelry or checking my hair or wearing makeup. And I wasn't the least bit self conscious. Because I didn't notice until the car ride home. I was so busy getting kids buckled and keeping them from being run over and making sure they didn't tear up books or run into the parking lot that I wasn't paying any attention to myself or what other people might think of me. And it was really really nice. Frankly, I'm sure most people hardly notice me. After all, I can't tell you what the other moms there that day were (or were not) wearing. But I can tell you which ones let their kids run amok (namely myself). And I can tell you which ones were kind to their kids. And I can tell you how efficient the checkout guy was.

Lesson learned: how I look is not nearly as important as how I act. And if I leave the house looking sub-par, odds are I'll be the only one who notices (and maybe not even that). So if I want to get dressed up, or lose a few pounds, or wear lots of makeup or make sure my shoes match my clothes - bonus. But if I keep a little mommy-fluff, or run out of time to brush my hair, or can't find anything but bedroom slippers to wear on my feet - no one else is going to care! They only care that my kids are well behaved, that I'm courteous and timely and that I genuinely care if they've had a good day.

I need to focus out, not in. After all, as the adage goes, the best accessory is a smile :)