I'm back! After 5 years, I'm resurrecting this blog, because it's necessary. Current stats:
June 2019
Age: 36
Weight: 136
2014
Age: 31
Weight: 105-110
Monday, June 3, 2019
Friday, July 4, 2014
I like big butts and I cannot lie
My squats are starting to pay off. No longer am I a skinny miss. I've got quads and I'm beginning to learn the joys (and pains) of joining the ranks of big booty. And I'll be honest - it's really hard! I've been looking at pics of myself from college and, frankly, I miss being skinny. I looked good when I was slender. And sure, strong legs look great in compression capris - but my recent trip to the mall attests that's about ALL they look good in. Every single thing I tried on would have looked great - if it weren't for my giant behind. I'm sure it's just a case of building muscle without also shedding the fat - and some day maybe I'll get the body I really want. But in the meantime, the scale is going up, my pants are getting tight in the legs and rear, and I'm having a very hard time dealing with it. I know that building muscle is a healthy thing, and I'm continuing to PR at the gym which is fantastic! I'm meeting a lot of my goals strengthwise. But the little demons in my head that think skinny is best keep nagging at me. My brain is engrained with the ideal of being the waiflike girl in the skinny jeans engulfed by giant sweaters and boots.
But, I've joined a group training program where I have specific workouts and precise macros (with more carbs than I've allowed myself - soooo exciting and delicious) and I'm determined to follow it at least until I know whether it'll actually give me results. It's good to have a prescribed program that I "can't" change at the whim of my admittedly warped subconscious. Wish me luck - we'll see how it goes!
In the meantime, here are current stats:
Weight: 108
Hips: 35
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
But, I've joined a group training program where I have specific workouts and precise macros (with more carbs than I've allowed myself - soooo exciting and delicious) and I'm determined to follow it at least until I know whether it'll actually give me results. It's good to have a prescribed program that I "can't" change at the whim of my admittedly warped subconscious. Wish me luck - we'll see how it goes!
In the meantime, here are current stats:
Weight: 108
Hips: 35
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Balance and Moderation
I think I'm starting to get the hang of the maintenance mode. I'm not tracking calories super closely and I haven't been working out quite as hard but I haven't changed weight at all. Measurements are about the same (change in hips is likely either my shorts or my squats). All in all I feel pretty good about where I am. Sure, I'd love to shed some bodyfat, but I feel like I have finally reached a healthy relationship with working out and eating which is HUGE for me.
I've also started sticking closer to a paleo diet. Through experimentation I've found that I just feel better - healthier and more streamlined inside - when I don't eat grains. I even made paleo cake twice in one week and didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable. But the moment I ate a gluten-free (rice flour) brownie, I felt sick. So I'm blaming processed grains and not sugar for my recent stomach issues. I'm still learning - I made a total failure of a paleo 'cheese'cake the other day and I caved and used rice flour in my pie crust today because I haven't perfected an alternative yet - but I'm finding swaps for most of my favorite foods and learning some new naturally-grain-free recipes as well.
Here's my update on last month's goals:
1) Keep up the protein
I'm doing better. I still struggle a LOT with lunch. I really suck at lunch. I have zero ideas for non-dairy, grain-free lunches that don't cost a ton in both time and money. I'm on a rotating list of tuna/egg salad, turkey rollups, baked beans and leftovers. When I get tired of what I planned I either don't eat, or just pop some veggies. But I'm learning to eat more protein at breakfast and dinner so my totals are higher at least, but I have GOT to come up with a better plan for lunch.
2) Plan treats and stick to the plan
I've learned that I can't keep chocolate bars or baking mixes in the house or I'll go nuts. Dark chocolate baking chunks and paleo baking is totally safe because I can stop after a couple of bites. I may not win every week, but at least I'm learning my triggers.
3) Get my lifting goals sorted out
I've got a plan, even if I don't execute it well. Made myself a google spreadsheet breaking up my weeks into lifting days and cardio days. Monday I do half of my dumbbell routine, tuesday and thursday are cardio (zumba, swimming, elliptical, whatever), Wednesday is my gym day for the big lifts, and Friday is the other half of the dumbbell routine. And every night is bedtime yoga or working on a yoga progression. That said, I haven't completed a week yet. I honestly feel like I've been emphasizing working out too much, and it was leaving me exhausted, burnt out and feeling like I wasn't getting enough quality time with my kids.
So I've left it at this. I will eat well MOST of the time. I will work out when I'm feeling energized and won't be neglecting any other important task/person. But at least with a schedule put together I never have to ask myself "I feel like training today - what should I do?"
Balance is so important, and scaling back my fervor hasn't hurt my waistline at all. I feel so good about where I am right now - I'm very very grateful for that.
And, I had no complaints from hubby when I broke out the bikini last week - so I guess whatever I'm doing is working :)
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 108
Hips: 35 (+.5)
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
I've also started sticking closer to a paleo diet. Through experimentation I've found that I just feel better - healthier and more streamlined inside - when I don't eat grains. I even made paleo cake twice in one week and didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable. But the moment I ate a gluten-free (rice flour) brownie, I felt sick. So I'm blaming processed grains and not sugar for my recent stomach issues. I'm still learning - I made a total failure of a paleo 'cheese'cake the other day and I caved and used rice flour in my pie crust today because I haven't perfected an alternative yet - but I'm finding swaps for most of my favorite foods and learning some new naturally-grain-free recipes as well.
Here's my update on last month's goals:
1) Keep up the protein
I'm doing better. I still struggle a LOT with lunch. I really suck at lunch. I have zero ideas for non-dairy, grain-free lunches that don't cost a ton in both time and money. I'm on a rotating list of tuna/egg salad, turkey rollups, baked beans and leftovers. When I get tired of what I planned I either don't eat, or just pop some veggies. But I'm learning to eat more protein at breakfast and dinner so my totals are higher at least, but I have GOT to come up with a better plan for lunch.
2) Plan treats and stick to the plan
I've learned that I can't keep chocolate bars or baking mixes in the house or I'll go nuts. Dark chocolate baking chunks and paleo baking is totally safe because I can stop after a couple of bites. I may not win every week, but at least I'm learning my triggers.
3) Get my lifting goals sorted out
I've got a plan, even if I don't execute it well. Made myself a google spreadsheet breaking up my weeks into lifting days and cardio days. Monday I do half of my dumbbell routine, tuesday and thursday are cardio (zumba, swimming, elliptical, whatever), Wednesday is my gym day for the big lifts, and Friday is the other half of the dumbbell routine. And every night is bedtime yoga or working on a yoga progression. That said, I haven't completed a week yet. I honestly feel like I've been emphasizing working out too much, and it was leaving me exhausted, burnt out and feeling like I wasn't getting enough quality time with my kids.
So I've left it at this. I will eat well MOST of the time. I will work out when I'm feeling energized and won't be neglecting any other important task/person. But at least with a schedule put together I never have to ask myself "I feel like training today - what should I do?"
Balance is so important, and scaling back my fervor hasn't hurt my waistline at all. I feel so good about where I am right now - I'm very very grateful for that.
And, I had no complaints from hubby when I broke out the bikini last week - so I guess whatever I'm doing is working :)
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 108
Hips: 35 (+.5)
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
Friday, May 2, 2014
Setting New Goals
I think I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer trying to lose weight. My measurements and weight have been stable for a while now, and I no longer (usually) look at my calories as a means to losing weight, but rather as a means to gaining muscle.
I've found myself rather at a loss, however, because I'm so accustomed to being in weight-loss mode. First I had an eating disorder, which was, of course, all about weight loss. Then I was post-partum and trying to drop the baby weight. So now that my primary fitness goal is not "get skinny" I'm struggling to patch together what my goals should be.
I know that I want to gain strength and muscle. I know that I want to get faster and run longer. Now it's time to formulate a plan as to how I'm going to accomplish those goals. I'm currently working on putting together a lifting program that can somehow accommodate my random equipment access - one day a week with a bar and rack, 3 days a week with dumbbells. Since increasing weight can't be my primary goal when I'm at home with 20 lb dumbbells, I need to figure out how I will mark progress there. At the gym, at the moment, I'm still shooting to boost my Wilks score (133) and my gym partner is hoping to work up a copy of her program (I'm not sure yet what she's following) set to my current capabilities so I can follow along with her. But my at home routine is a little random - sometimes Strong Curves (sorta - I keep messing with it to make it challenging enough) and sometimes whatever video I pull up.
Let's take a look at last month's goals:
1) Add cardio
This is an extremely recent addition. My middle child has suddenly taken a great interest in doing everything Mommy does - he wants to cook with me, clean with me - and he's starting to love doing yoga, lifts and finally Zumba with Mommy! So a couple days a week we pull up a Zumba for beginners on youtube and have fun looking ridiculous as we're trying to figure out the routines. I'm terrible at it, but oh my is it a good workout for my heart (and my abs!)
2) Keep scaling back the sugar and carbs
Nope. Not happening. I'm trying - but there's Easter candy, and I keep making desserts (in quantities that last for days) and and and...
3) Eat more protein
Doing much better!! I have almost met my goals several times now and the way I was able to perform at the gym that week was amazing! I think I'm finally motivated enough to try to work it in more frequently. Yum hamburger and eggs.
4) Be more intentional
I'm doing better. I'm sticking closer to my meal plans for the most part, and planning treats into my day so that I don't get tempted to splurge. I've planned which days I'll lift and which are for Zumba/cardio. So far so good.
So - Goals for this week:
1) Keep up the protein
Make sure I get plenty of it all three meals. And that the kids eat it, too. We're having some blood sugar tantrum issues in our house lately which is a solid reminder that I need to be more vigilant about what we ALL eat.
2) Plan treats and stick to the plan
Keep them small, daily and don't let them become a binge.
3) Get my lifting goals sorted out
Formulate a program that transitions from home to gym and back again and/or plot my disparate goals for each location.
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 108 (-2)
Hips: 34.5
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
I've found myself rather at a loss, however, because I'm so accustomed to being in weight-loss mode. First I had an eating disorder, which was, of course, all about weight loss. Then I was post-partum and trying to drop the baby weight. So now that my primary fitness goal is not "get skinny" I'm struggling to patch together what my goals should be.
I know that I want to gain strength and muscle. I know that I want to get faster and run longer. Now it's time to formulate a plan as to how I'm going to accomplish those goals. I'm currently working on putting together a lifting program that can somehow accommodate my random equipment access - one day a week with a bar and rack, 3 days a week with dumbbells. Since increasing weight can't be my primary goal when I'm at home with 20 lb dumbbells, I need to figure out how I will mark progress there. At the gym, at the moment, I'm still shooting to boost my Wilks score (133) and my gym partner is hoping to work up a copy of her program (I'm not sure yet what she's following) set to my current capabilities so I can follow along with her. But my at home routine is a little random - sometimes Strong Curves (sorta - I keep messing with it to make it challenging enough) and sometimes whatever video I pull up.
Let's take a look at last month's goals:
1) Add cardio
This is an extremely recent addition. My middle child has suddenly taken a great interest in doing everything Mommy does - he wants to cook with me, clean with me - and he's starting to love doing yoga, lifts and finally Zumba with Mommy! So a couple days a week we pull up a Zumba for beginners on youtube and have fun looking ridiculous as we're trying to figure out the routines. I'm terrible at it, but oh my is it a good workout for my heart (and my abs!)
2) Keep scaling back the sugar and carbs
Nope. Not happening. I'm trying - but there's Easter candy, and I keep making desserts (in quantities that last for days) and and and...
3) Eat more protein
Doing much better!! I have almost met my goals several times now and the way I was able to perform at the gym that week was amazing! I think I'm finally motivated enough to try to work it in more frequently. Yum hamburger and eggs.
4) Be more intentional
I'm doing better. I'm sticking closer to my meal plans for the most part, and planning treats into my day so that I don't get tempted to splurge. I've planned which days I'll lift and which are for Zumba/cardio. So far so good.
So - Goals for this week:
1) Keep up the protein
Make sure I get plenty of it all three meals. And that the kids eat it, too. We're having some blood sugar tantrum issues in our house lately which is a solid reminder that I need to be more vigilant about what we ALL eat.
2) Plan treats and stick to the plan
Keep them small, daily and don't let them become a binge.
3) Get my lifting goals sorted out
Formulate a program that transitions from home to gym and back again and/or plot my disparate goals for each location.
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 108 (-2)
Hips: 34.5
Waist: 27.5
Bust: 32.5
Arms: 11
Legs: 18
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
This Is How It Feels
One of my biggest challenges on this journey is disconnecting my emotions from fitness and diet. I use food for comfort. I use food for control. I closely connect my self worth with whether or not I feel fat, whether I can see my ribs, whether I can fit in a certain dress. I've trained myself to think about food in unhealthy ways. Maybe I can explain why food is so difficult for me.
This Is How It Feels When I Restrict
I feel sleek. I feel empty and thin. Feeling like a breeze could carry me away is empowering. I feel like if I try hard enough and restrict enough, I could simply disappear. And usually, when I drop below 1000 calories, that's exactly what I want to do. Disappear. Conversely, I feel fearless. I feel like I could wear anything and look great. I feel like I could turn heads if I wanted to. For the first two or three days my body feels amazing and I feel energized. More than three days, and I get hungry, cranky, achy and tired.
I feel sleek. I feel empty and thin. Feeling like a breeze could carry me away is empowering. I feel like if I try hard enough and restrict enough, I could simply disappear. And usually, when I drop below 1000 calories, that's exactly what I want to do. Disappear. Conversely, I feel fearless. I feel like I could wear anything and look great. I feel like I could turn heads if I wanted to. For the first two or three days my body feels amazing and I feel energized. More than three days, and I get hungry, cranky, achy and tired.
But when I restrict I feel like I could wear this in public and not be ashamed.
This Is How It Feels When I Eat
I feel guilty. I feel bloated and fat. My stomach hurts and I feel constantly full, even when hungry. I give in to cravings and feel guilty. I feel out of control. Even when I remain in my calorie range, I feel like I'm overindulging. BUT I have energy. And patience. And I can lift and set PRs and I feel strong. And strong is my goal. So I'm going to have to retrain myself to desire strong over sleek. To eat even when I feel guilty and fat and sad. Just because I feel it doesn't mean I have to act on it. And that is a lesson I'm still trying to learn.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Ups and Downs
It was a bad weekend, I'll be honest. I dropped under 1000 calories because I was sad, and when I'm stressed and sad, I restrict. And frankly, that sleek, empty feeling I get when I'm heavy restricting feels good. BUT the things that were stressing me out are over with and I'm back to sticking to my 1450 calories.
SO here's an update on the goals I posted last week:
1) Start the bodyweight section of Strong Curves
I love this program. I've had to modify it a bit to match the equipment I have at home (dumbbells, a dining table, step stool, etc) but it's mostly comprised of lifts I was already doing - just limits me to a sane number of reps/sets and mixes things up nicely so I don't overdo any one lift during the week. My glutes and hamstrings are definitely feeling it. Oh, AND I got a PR on my shoulder press today. I'm still stuck at 20 lb dumbbells but I can do more reps for more sets at my max weight so that's a thrill.
2) Run in the evenings
Nope. Not happening. There just isn't time. After supper I've got to wash dishes, and set things up for the next day, then hubby takes his run while I put the kids to bed and by then it's dark and I'm exhausted. I'm hoping to put in laps while the kids play outside now that the weather is improving. We'll see.
3) Limit treats to 2-3 squares of dark chocolate/day
Hah! nope. I went on a brownie bite binge while I was sad. Brownies are gone but I'm still eating closer to 6 squares of chocolate daily. Room to grow.
4) Weed out my closet
I went through all my spring clothes. It was really depressing. Nothing fits like it used to. I've done enough floor presses to grow my chest such that it just looks awkward in my old dresses. I pulled everything that looked weird and put it in a donation pile. Ideally I'll be living in gym clothes and swimsuits all summer anyway, so - I guess it's not such a loss.
5) Stick to my macros
Aside from my crazy low cal days - this actually went well. Haven't gone over on cals even while brownie binging. Macros are a mess, but what's new?
6) NOT OBSESS
I haven't been obsessing about workouts. I'm not trying to win my duel with crazy workouts. I'm doing what's on the page, plus a burpee challenge, and that's it. The food and the body image - those are harder to not obsess about.
Goals for this week:
1) Add cardio
I'd love to add some Zumba (on youtube, no time for classes) in between lifting days, and I need to put some yoga in before bed (and maybe in the morning) every day - lifting makes me really tight. These are harder things to do because the kids can't be watching tv while I Zumba and that's usually how I sneak in my workout so - we'll see!
2) Keep scaling back the sugar and carbs
I just feel better when I don't eat as much junk. But I looooooove my treats.
3) Eat more protein
Somehow. Some way. Get creative and make it palatable. Get those macros in check.
4) Be more intentional
Plan when I'm going to do my workouts and not get distracted so I can get them done and get back to real life. Focus on one thing at a time so that I get it all done. Plan what I'm eating and eat what I've planned. If I feel fat, be extra vigilant with food and movement. Or focus on doing something for someone else instead of lamenting a poochy tummy. Get over it already.
Quick progress pic - was feeling proud of my mini calluses and slowly growing shoulders today:
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 110
Hips: 34.5 (-.5")
Waist: 27.5 (-.5")
Bust: 32.5 (-.5")
Arms: 11 (-.5")
Legs: 18
Must be wearing tighter clothes this week - not sure how I feel about arms getting smaller - grow guns grow!
SO here's an update on the goals I posted last week:
1) Start the bodyweight section of Strong Curves
I love this program. I've had to modify it a bit to match the equipment I have at home (dumbbells, a dining table, step stool, etc) but it's mostly comprised of lifts I was already doing - just limits me to a sane number of reps/sets and mixes things up nicely so I don't overdo any one lift during the week. My glutes and hamstrings are definitely feeling it. Oh, AND I got a PR on my shoulder press today. I'm still stuck at 20 lb dumbbells but I can do more reps for more sets at my max weight so that's a thrill.
2) Run in the evenings
Nope. Not happening. There just isn't time. After supper I've got to wash dishes, and set things up for the next day, then hubby takes his run while I put the kids to bed and by then it's dark and I'm exhausted. I'm hoping to put in laps while the kids play outside now that the weather is improving. We'll see.
3) Limit treats to 2-3 squares of dark chocolate/day
Hah! nope. I went on a brownie bite binge while I was sad. Brownies are gone but I'm still eating closer to 6 squares of chocolate daily. Room to grow.
4) Weed out my closet
I went through all my spring clothes. It was really depressing. Nothing fits like it used to. I've done enough floor presses to grow my chest such that it just looks awkward in my old dresses. I pulled everything that looked weird and put it in a donation pile. Ideally I'll be living in gym clothes and swimsuits all summer anyway, so - I guess it's not such a loss.
5) Stick to my macros
Aside from my crazy low cal days - this actually went well. Haven't gone over on cals even while brownie binging. Macros are a mess, but what's new?
6) NOT OBSESS
I haven't been obsessing about workouts. I'm not trying to win my duel with crazy workouts. I'm doing what's on the page, plus a burpee challenge, and that's it. The food and the body image - those are harder to not obsess about.
Goals for this week:
1) Add cardio
I'd love to add some Zumba (on youtube, no time for classes) in between lifting days, and I need to put some yoga in before bed (and maybe in the morning) every day - lifting makes me really tight. These are harder things to do because the kids can't be watching tv while I Zumba and that's usually how I sneak in my workout so - we'll see!
2) Keep scaling back the sugar and carbs
I just feel better when I don't eat as much junk. But I looooooove my treats.
3) Eat more protein
Somehow. Some way. Get creative and make it palatable. Get those macros in check.
4) Be more intentional
Plan when I'm going to do my workouts and not get distracted so I can get them done and get back to real life. Focus on one thing at a time so that I get it all done. Plan what I'm eating and eat what I've planned. If I feel fat, be extra vigilant with food and movement. Or focus on doing something for someone else instead of lamenting a poochy tummy. Get over it already.
Quick progress pic - was feeling proud of my mini calluses and slowly growing shoulders today:
Oh, and current stats:
Weight: 110
Hips: 34.5 (-.5")
Waist: 27.5 (-.5")
Bust: 32.5 (-.5")
Arms: 11 (-.5")
Legs: 18
Must be wearing tighter clothes this week - not sure how I feel about arms getting smaller - grow guns grow!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
The good, the bad and the ugly (food)
I hate eating, lately. The good-for-me foods make me gag. The foods I'm excited to eat make me sick. Some days eating isn't about fun. Some days eating is about getting it done. So, here are some reminders to myself about why I need to eat well.
The Good -
In our household we are semi-paleo. Semi because we don't shun all legumes, starchy root veggies or even grains entirely. Plus, I'm the only dairy-free member of the family. But the goal is to focus on eating lean meats, fruits, veggies and little else. When I eat this way, I feel energized, healthy, and most of my other health issues stay in check. But in order to continue to eat this way I need to remember to do the following
1) Plan ahead!
I need to plan all meals, all snacks, every bite that will go into my mouth with no exceptions. If I know what I'm going to eat, then I can't use lack of planning as an excuse to eat junk
2) Keep healthy foods everywhere.
This morning I forgot to pack healthy snacks. I also forgot to eat enough protein for breakfast. The end result? Scarfing down a Mounds bar in a desperate attempt to keep myself from blacking out when, inevitably, my blood sugar crashed. If I'd only remembered to pack some nuts, I'd have spared my macros and my health. But, no. Left them at home.
3) Research the recipes!
I get bored with food quickly. And when I'm bored, I either refuse to eat, or I seek out exciting food. Which to me means full of sugar and carbs. Time to crack those cookbooks and stalk Pinterest and come up with an arsenal (aka indexed list) of recipes so I won't have to "fall back" on pancakes because I couldn't come up with anything else to make for breakfast. If I'm excited about trying something new, I'm much less likely to pine for the pizza or hibachi tofu or other forbidden foods. Plus, if we happen to run out of something I was planning to cook, I'll have lots of ideas for substitute meals.
The Bad-
This is the category with which I struggle the most. Foods that aren't SO unhealthy and don't make me feel too bad, but if I continue to eat them regularly not only will I gain weight, but eventually my health will suffer. Grains, sugar, and sometimes dairy fall in this cattegory. If I eat one bagel I'll be fine. If I eat a bagel and a sandwich and make pasta and throw in a few more grain-filled meals I'll have a miserable tummy pretty quick. If I eat too much sugar then I crave even more sugar and suddenly I'm having trouble sleeping and my weight is skyrocketting and I'm a big cranky screwed-up-bloodsugar mess by dinnertime. And dairy - well - some accidental cheese on my drive-through salad won't kill me but I'd sure as heck better pass up Grandma's cheesy potatoes if I don't want to head over to the land of....
The Ugly -
These are the foods that are either just plain bad for everyone (processed junk food and sweet treats) or on my list of "trigger all the autoimmune disorders" foods. Corn, dairy, 'questionably' gluten free - these foods will make me itchy, crazy, bloated, exhausted, achy and a host of other kinds of uncomfortable. So why oh why do I continue to allow myself to "splurge." Splurging is adding an extra square of chocolate to my day when I'm already at my calorie limit. Splurging is not drinking a big root beer full of corn-syrup that's going to give me depression/anxiety issues and make me itch for days.
So my plan for the forseable future - pause before I put anything in my mouth and slap it with one of these labels. If it's ugly, avoid it like the plague (that it is). If it's bad, heavily reconsider. And if it's good - plan, store, research and enjoy! If I can finally get this right I'll have a much healthier family as well.
The Good -
In our household we are semi-paleo. Semi because we don't shun all legumes, starchy root veggies or even grains entirely. Plus, I'm the only dairy-free member of the family. But the goal is to focus on eating lean meats, fruits, veggies and little else. When I eat this way, I feel energized, healthy, and most of my other health issues stay in check. But in order to continue to eat this way I need to remember to do the following
1) Plan ahead!
I need to plan all meals, all snacks, every bite that will go into my mouth with no exceptions. If I know what I'm going to eat, then I can't use lack of planning as an excuse to eat junk
2) Keep healthy foods everywhere.
This morning I forgot to pack healthy snacks. I also forgot to eat enough protein for breakfast. The end result? Scarfing down a Mounds bar in a desperate attempt to keep myself from blacking out when, inevitably, my blood sugar crashed. If I'd only remembered to pack some nuts, I'd have spared my macros and my health. But, no. Left them at home.
3) Research the recipes!
I get bored with food quickly. And when I'm bored, I either refuse to eat, or I seek out exciting food. Which to me means full of sugar and carbs. Time to crack those cookbooks and stalk Pinterest and come up with an arsenal (aka indexed list) of recipes so I won't have to "fall back" on pancakes because I couldn't come up with anything else to make for breakfast. If I'm excited about trying something new, I'm much less likely to pine for the pizza or hibachi tofu or other forbidden foods. Plus, if we happen to run out of something I was planning to cook, I'll have lots of ideas for substitute meals.
The Bad-
This is the category with which I struggle the most. Foods that aren't SO unhealthy and don't make me feel too bad, but if I continue to eat them regularly not only will I gain weight, but eventually my health will suffer. Grains, sugar, and sometimes dairy fall in this cattegory. If I eat one bagel I'll be fine. If I eat a bagel and a sandwich and make pasta and throw in a few more grain-filled meals I'll have a miserable tummy pretty quick. If I eat too much sugar then I crave even more sugar and suddenly I'm having trouble sleeping and my weight is skyrocketting and I'm a big cranky screwed-up-bloodsugar mess by dinnertime. And dairy - well - some accidental cheese on my drive-through salad won't kill me but I'd sure as heck better pass up Grandma's cheesy potatoes if I don't want to head over to the land of....
The Ugly -
These are the foods that are either just plain bad for everyone (processed junk food and sweet treats) or on my list of "trigger all the autoimmune disorders" foods. Corn, dairy, 'questionably' gluten free - these foods will make me itchy, crazy, bloated, exhausted, achy and a host of other kinds of uncomfortable. So why oh why do I continue to allow myself to "splurge." Splurging is adding an extra square of chocolate to my day when I'm already at my calorie limit. Splurging is not drinking a big root beer full of corn-syrup that's going to give me depression/anxiety issues and make me itch for days.
So my plan for the forseable future - pause before I put anything in my mouth and slap it with one of these labels. If it's ugly, avoid it like the plague (that it is). If it's bad, heavily reconsider. And if it's good - plan, store, research and enjoy! If I can finally get this right I'll have a much healthier family as well.
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